Mama's Boy: It Could Happen To You

You might be laughing out loud right now, or you are nodding your head in agreement. It happens to the best of them. While this is a stereotype for a very family oriented male, who in fact loves his mother, there are a few rare instances of when this is all too true. There is a word the Italian community uses for this type of individual, the mammone.

While scouring the Internet or rather Time’s website, I stumbled upon an article that caught me a little bit off guard. The article, addressed a mother in Italy who was accused of being too overbearing. I’ll have to admit, I had a little chuckle when I read this. This is not only because I was doubting that the article was serious but also because I know what it’s like being an Italian-American daughter.

At any rate, the article pressed on and I continued to check things off of my list. The article written by Jeff Israely talks about mothers who do their sons laundry, men who aren’t self-sufficient, and a survey published in Psychology Today that 37% of men in Italy between the ages of 30 to 34 years old still lived at home with their mothers. Before reading either of these articles, I would’ve believed this statistic.

The real twist in the Time article was when I read that this Italian mother and her parents were facing abuse charges. They were being accused of coddling the boy so much his development was stunted. His caregivers, or takers in this case, reportedly prevented him from doing normal activities like running or going to church. The lawyer representing the abused boy said that his motor skills were comparable to those of a 3 year old.

Professional psychologists quoted in the article stated that this type of overprotective behavior can harm children, clearly to the extreme with the Italian boy’s case. In an age of instant media access from the Internet, radio, television, and yes even print—parents and mama’s in particular can take their anxieties too far. I know this circumstance all too well with parents who watch 48 hours and Dateline on a regular basis. I also know this being the youngest daughter of 100% Italian parents, for us it’s worse than the males in my opinion.

The article continues on dissecting the behavior in terms of Italy’s history. Socioeconomics played a huge role in the reason why the Italians (in this case specifically boys) lived with their parents so long. A once extremely poor country with a weak economy, living at home was a wise financial decision. The Catholic church, too, plays an immense role in this. A country where the center of the religion resides and a once devoutly Catholic country had very traditional familial roles for rules until the 1960s. Speaking from personal experience, being both Catholic and Italian, these still are major factors in my life.  Italians are an extremely family oriented cultured who take their faith just as seriously. 

 

While the likelihood of someone becoming a mama’s boy is increased if you are of European decent, it could very well happen to American men. This is not necessarily a bad thing. While one side of the coin says modern women won’t like you because of your dependency on your mother or the archaic views that the mama’s boy holds about wives household duties, the other is very optimistic. Mama’s boys or men, who treat their mothers with respect, are notoriously better communicators with their wives/girlfriends. 

 

Stifling children by preventing them from being independent, girls or boys, is not good developmentally or psychologically. Showing them how to be caring, upstanding citizens, who know how to survive on their own is a very good thing. Perhaps our real concern in today’s society is how much we allow the media to control how we raise our kids. If we just teach them based on what we were taught versus what the media feeds us we’ll be okay. Personally, I’ll  date a mama’s boy any day.